Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Pink Toenails? Is that a problem??

Hold on to your hats because I feel a rant coming on. Apparently people are up in arms because J Crew has a new ad showing a mother painting her young son's toenails. And guess what? Mom and son are LAUGHING and having a GOOD time. I thought, now isn't that so cute. "They" say. . . . HORROR of HORRORS! There we go promoting EVIL! Our children might see this!!! How dare they show something so deviant and shocking! I can't keep quiet about something this stupid. I hope I don't offend any of my friends who read my blog but I have to say what I feel about how screwed up this is. Point number 1 I have never known a little boy who would put up with something like that if he didn't want to. There were times when my children were small when I tried to get one of my boys to try on a dress that I was making because for whatever reason their sister wasn't available. Guess what? They would have NO part of it. And I would never have forced them. . . . . . like I could have anyway. My point here being, that if a mom is painting her sweet little guy's toenails pink it must be because he wants to have her do it. He IS smiling and having a great time after all. Isn't he?!? Now who knows, this little boy may very well have gone off and pounded rocks together and filled up his Tonka trucks with them after his one on one time with mom. Or her may have followed her into the kitchen and helped her make cookies. He may have gone into the family room and watched Disney's Little Mermaid, for the 50th time that month. WHO CARES? What this says to me is that here is a little boy who is right with the world. Here is a child who is safe and cherished and most of all loved and accepted for exactly who he is. Too bad that every child can't find this kind of acceptance from what should be their very first completely safe place. Their home and family. Who knows if the little guy is gay, if he just loves the color pink and is simply too young to know people's prejudices. For whatever reason we do know that he wanted those cute little toenails painted pink. There is absolutely NO shame in that. He may grow up to be absolutely "Straight" in every way. Or he may figure out that along with liking pink toenails he also really likes boys. You know, like as in more than just friends? This brings me to my second point. People can't help but be who they are meant to be. So why on earth do we have to make life so hard for them if they find out that they are different than what society considers NORMAL? I have yet to meet a gay person who I haven't considered normal. They generally want the same things we all do. They want to be loved. They want to enjoy life. They want to have a home and someone to be with. Or maybe they just want to be off exploring the world and it's many wonders. Either by themselves. . . or with a friend. . . . or a partner. Who is anybody to tell them that they need to change? Who has the right to say that a gay or lesbian couple can't enjoy all of the things in life that make life so rewarding? I think it's far more important to work on yourself and becoming the kind of person you want to be than to worry about others that may have different feelings than you do. As a final thought, they were talking about the little boy with his pretty pink toenails today on the Today show. Apparently, the polls are divided 50/50 of people who find it harmless, sweet and cute and people who find it shocking and horrible and how dare J Crew display something so depraved. Some idiot from the latter group was quoted saying that the "poor kid is going to end up needing counseling and intense therapy when he is older" What a bunch of HOGWASH! I think it's just the opposite. Here is a child who is loved and fully accepted for just who he is. How can anybody feel anything but good about that? I'm sure I'm not the only one who has seen the statistics on the high rate of teenage, gay, lesbian and transgendered suicides. Is that actually considered preferable to the alternative of loving and accepting each and every person for who they truly are? If so, then this really is a sad, sad world, and I want to make sure my voice is heard on the side of LOVE and ACCEPTANCE. I accept that many people don't share my beliefs but I hope you will at least give mine a little bit of consideration. Who knows, you may end up with someone you love facing these same challenges. Thanks for reading and I would love comments as long as they aren't nasty.

11 comments:

Mike 'n' Cindy Brinkerhoff said...

Tyler used to come over for our weekends and immediately have Kaylee dress him up as a girl. And then when Cindy and the girls would be painting their toenails, you'd better believe that Tyler was right there with his feet in the mix, saying "ME TOO!!"

One day he went to Daycare after having his toes painted, and the daycare provider's husband (it was a husband and wife daycare) met us at the door when we picked him up that night, saying in a very thoroughly not-amused manner, "don't paint his toes..."

We replied that he loves to be part of the pedicure party, but were cut off with,

"seriously. don't do that."

Oh well, Neanderthal Dan doesn't have to know that Tyler grew out of wanting his toes painted, and is as much "boy" as any other 13 year old out there. In fact, even while the toenail painting was going on, if a cute girl walked by, he would be all, "Dad, I LIKE that girl!"

People get all up in arms over stupid stuff because they've been conditioned that they MUST get up in arms over something. The whole thing is crap.

dswillis said...

I agree with Mike. The little boy will be fine.

I do however do not agree with the homosexual lifestyle. I do however love everyone regardless of the preferences.

Kelly said...

I let a girl paint my fingernails in high school because I really liked her. A week later we were dating, and she was still painting them. Some people just want something to rail against and spew hate over, no matter how trivial it may be.

Lisa said...

What does it mean for the boy to be "fine?" of course he will be fine. His health is NOT endangered. (although those paint fumes can be stinky!)

Now, weather nor not the boy is/will be straight or gay is not for anyone to determine as "fine" or not.

Check out this blog and the stories that go with it.

http://borngaybornthisway.blogspot.com/

Corey said...

Susan,

I absolutely love you for posting this!

It can be nearly impossible for some people to accept that being gay is anything more than a lifestyle choice, like deciding what city to live in or what career to start. For those people, the alternative to gayness as anything more than a lifestyle choice might mean the gay person was born that way or that it was the product of their environment. To them, that would mean that a perfect God made a mistake in the “mold”, or that the person with the “defect” was given the hurdle so that they could learn and grow from it. I can’t speak to the latter (environmental) issue as I am not qualified, as to the first, I have this to say.

Religion, no matter how right the truths are that it is based on, is still an institution largely interpreted and implemented by man. Regardless of how much one reads scriptures (written by man’s hand and subject to any number of errors) or interprets scripture (subject to so many more errors) there is not a single person on this planet who can know a person’s soul and know how and why they are the way they are and whether they were made that way for any reason. The one Being I know who can know a person like that is the only One who matters. I know that being gay is not a choice. I don’t believe that being gay is a “defect” that God would purposefully give someone as a “hurdle” in this life. I don’t even pretend to know why some people are made this way, but it’s not for me to know. I do know that life is so much better when we are loved and accepted for who we are.

As to the little boy with the pink toenails, who knows if he will grow up to like musicals or action flicks or shopping or fishing or boys or girls. The important part is that he has a caring parent, spending quality time with him, showing him how to love so that as he becomes an adult he can live a happy balanced life and share that kind of love with his family, whatever the configuration.

To all the damning so-called Christians out there I say shame on you. To the intolerant bigots, I feel sorry for you for carrying hate in your heart. To those who can openly love and accept people for who they are, I say thank you. You make this world a better place just by being here.

NormalToEatPB said...

This totally reminds me of a post one smarmy mama posted about people suggesting to raise boys differently from girls - love your children, don't make them feel wrong or awkward for not following proscribed gender roles!

Anonymous said...

Susan,

I couldn't agree more! Thank you for posting this. My hat is off to you because I know that there are many people in your life, and likely many people who read your blog, that take issue with homosexuality and even the slightest bending of the gender "norms". I admire your willingness to stand up for what you believe, despite any negative comments you may encounter. Thank you again for sharing your thoughts! :)

Melody

Lisa Christine said...

Donald's toenails were painted when we got married. Just sayin'.

Jeanette said...

I had a really bad case of the flu and couldn't make it to sam's club to buy diapers for Jackson. I grabbed a generic bag at the grocery store and thought nothing of it. That night I opened them and found that I had bought the girl diapers. Purple, floral, bows, etc... Jackson took it off, and went and got a pair of Hilton's underwear. Yep-he potty trained himself! I begged him to wear those diapers so I didn't have to deal with his accidents. I told him, "One accident and you are going into this diaper." He knew I meant it and was accident free. Tough little guy.

libbie said...

I think its ridiculous that people are so upset over this. If I had a dollar for every time I've painted one of my nephews toenails red or pink, I would be rich. And guess what? They wanted me to. Geez. Some people have way to much time on their hands.

Cindy Brinkerhoff said...

I just want to add to Mikes comment, that yes Tyler grew out of wanting his nails painted... but we would have loved him anyway. I agree with you Susan and Corey.. I haven't met you yet but I loved your comment. It would be nice to meet another cousin sometime soon!