Tidbits

Alright, first off, I would like us all to observe a moment of silence for poor,poor, sad and depressed Heather Locklear......................................................................................................
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Okay that seems good enough.

Today, I have decided to pontificate on the subject of TV Commercials.

Sometimes I wonder, if an alien species was to watch our culture and try to figure us out, and if all they had to go by were our commercials, what on earth would they think of us? I shudder to think of the conclusions they would come to, especially if they were to also watch some of those European ones. But then I think I would shudder even more to realize that those conclusions may not be too far from the truth.At least for a lot of the population.

Not we saintly, intelligent, kind hearted and compassionate members of the blogging world of course.

My brother Mike, quite some time ago, did a blog about certain commercials and it inspired me to do one of my own someday.
So here goes.

The commercials that have really gotten on my poor frayed nerves lately have been the ones for

CAT FOOD.

Now I think most every person of normal intelligence who owns a cat knows what cats like to eat.

Oh no! I just realized that this reminds me that George Carlin has just passed away. I know it's a bother but George really does deserve a moment of silence..................................................................
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Sorry for the interruption, but I really did like George Carlin. And this is why cat food made me think of him ; He had a joke that I'm sure many of you have probably heard. He said ; You know we have all these cat food companies trying to figure out what flavors cats like best. I don't see why it's so hard, all you have to do is watch a cat for a couple of hours and you will know. A cat's favorite flavor is

BUTT!!!!

Hee hee hee, ya gotta love that George Carlin.

Okay I will get back on subject. That was just a little sample of how my mind works. I didn't call this blog Non Linear Thinking for nothing, after all.

Now the cat food commercials that really drive me crazy are the ones for, I think it's called Beneful or something similar, cat food. I know that there's a whole natural organic foods thing movement going on right now. I know that to achieve optimum health one should eat

FIVE SERVINGS OF FRUITS AND VEGETABLES A DAY.

I just can't believe that this advice should include cats.
If the good folk at Purina pet foods who actually make the stuff are to be believed, poor little Spot and Fluff Fluff, are doing nothing all day but sitting around and dreaming of Vegetables. And (alas) sadly for them, we nincompoop pet owners are just too thick to realize that their great desire and need for these veggies is going mostly un-met.

So here comes Beneful cat food ( well, and dog food too, we certainly can't neglect our dear canine friends now can we) to the rescue. Now little Angel and Buster can eat their fill of their daily requirement of vegetables. Oh and don't forget the whole grains, like rice and wheat and barley.
There is just one thing I would like to know.

What one earth is the daily requirement of fruits and vegetables and grains for your average house cat?????????

Now we have a cat. She is a squish-faced Persian. That means that her eyes and her nose are on the same line and that her mouth is just barely below her eye-nose-eye. She has a hard time eating because of the unfortunate configuration of her face. Fortunately the breeders have finally realized that if they kept this up these cats would end up with their mouth above their eyes. So they have backed off and now most Persians have a more normal face. Unfortunately for Sasha though, she happens to be one of the unlucky failed experiments in Persian Cat Facery Technology.

We have had a lot of normal cats over the years though. And never once, no not ONCE, did we ever drop a piece of broccoli on the floor and have that cat come and scoop it up. Same goes for carrots or peas or even that most desired of all foods (this according to the commercial of course) RICE!

Somehow I just can't stretch my imagination enough to see someone putting down a bowl of nicely prepared mixed vegetables for Little Snowball and having her greedily eat it all up and look around for more.

So I must conclude that these commercials are LYING. It is a complete falsehood that cats are craving all those healthy ingredients that we are paying so handsomely for.

Alright now on to ................... SLOGANS.

Here are a few of the slogans that i have heard over the years that drive me crazy.

Remember when the name brand of ibuprofen, Nuprin, I think it's name was, came out. It's brilliant campaign claimed that it was,

LITTLE.....YELLOW.....DIFFRENT!!!

Now call me overly critical but who the (oommpphh sometimes it's frustrating writing a G rated Blog) Heck is really going to buy one brand over another just because it is LITTLE and YELLOW?
I remember the first time I ever heard this ridiculous ad and thinking that other than Shawn (who loves every slogan and jingle he's ever heard) no-one will ever be swayed by that stupid slogan. And you know what? I think I was right. I don't think they even make Nuprin anymore.

On a more local front, there is Marchant Furniture. Now their big reason to come and buy their furniture isn't THE BEST SELECTION or THE BEST PRICES. Oh no, no, no, no. Their big claim to fame is that they are.......JUST MINUTES FROM ANYWHERE. Wow how can I not just jump in the car and drive right over, after all it is , just minutes from ANYWHERE.

Got that people living in California and Texas? Come to Marchant's home furnishings, they after all are, JUST MINUTES FROM ANYWHERE.

One more commercial that I actually think is kinda cute but also really disturbing, are the Charmin Toilet Paper Ads, with the animated bears. (Yeah I know, what is it with me and toilet paper?) I don't know, there's just something about Naked Bears out in the woods doing their business and then wiping themselves with TOILET PAPER!!!!!!! I cringe every time these ones come on. I have pretty much figured it out that they use bears because they somehow think it's more tasteful than showing animated humans in their own bathrooms going and then using toilet paper. Sorry but I think wiping after you have, you know, is just too delicate of a subject even for bears.

There are so many other commercials I could bring up but I am being harassed by granddaughters to hurry up and take them to get Great Grandma Brinkerhoff and go out to lunch and shopping. I do this almost every Thursday for my mom. Sometimes even with grand kids in tow.

So I will leave you with this happy thought.

No matter how unhappy you are at the moment, just think, I bet you are happier than Heather Locklear!