Some REALLY wishful thinking

The other night I was hungry. It was about 7 in the evening and I really needed to think of something to eat. My problem is that I don't like hardly anything resembling real food any more.

This happens to me all the time.

I hardly ever make dinner more than two or three times during the week. I always make sure Shawn has a good dinner. (Thank you Donald and Lisa for the George Forman grill for Christmas) I can throw something in there, and in a few, I can serve him up a nice plate of grilled chicken, steak or pork with an accompaning baked potato or some other Shawn friendly side dish.

For the most part Don is usually (somewhat) willing to fend for himself.

He'll warm up leftovers from the few nights I do cook. He's also perfectly happy with a bowl of hot Campbell's, stuffed so full of crackers that you have to wonder if there really is any soup in there.

As for me, finding something to eat most nights can be extremely difficult, frustrating and stressful.

For the last several years, I have had to stand by and watch my
(once healthy) appetite turn into a . . . . .

meat hating,

egg loathing,

taco,

lasagna,

pizza,

sandwich,

chili,

spaghetti,

stir fry,

fried chicken,

turkey and gravy,

Mexican,

Italian

and

Chinese food
cringing,

BEAST!

I can barely stand to eat, more than a miniscule portion, of any of that stuff.
This is why, last Wednesday evening, around sevenish, I was in my kitchen, holding my refrigerater door open,

(open, I should mention, for much longer than I would ever allow one of my children or grandchildren to)

Trying my hardest to think of something to eat that would semi fill me up, for at least the next few hours, until I was ready to pack it in for the night, and begin, my only, slightly less stressful, efforts to get a good night's sleep.

Well as I stood there warming up the fridge and all of it's contents, I couldn't help but notice the can of Redi Whip.

Yes, you heard that right!

R E D I - W H I P

That upside down squirt can of sweet, creamy, goodness that will never, ever, be matched by the bland, artificial efforts of those Cool Whip making pretenders.

Can anyone truthfully resist the temptations, NO, the siren call of a nice, cold, red and white can of fresh, real cream, Redi Whip.

Well actually, yes, someone can. My son Donald. For some freakish reason he has never liked whipped cream in any of it's delicious forms.

I grabbed that can, held it upside down, right above my open mouth, and squirted AWAY.

And then, squirted some more.

And more.

Oooooh yes, for a few short moments, I was in heaven.

Of course I stopped myself after a few mouthfuls. I am a grown up. I am well aware of the fact that a can of Redi Whip, no matter how delicious and satisfying, does not a proper dinner make.

I don't even remember just what I settled on that night for dinner.

I think I had a cup of hot Chocolate Instant Breakfast, a Jonagold apple, (yes, those Jonagold apples) and a small hand full of Ritz crackers. I also made myself down a spoonful of Jif. For the protein you know?

I wasn't hungry any more.

But then I don't eat to be full these days. Just to not be hungry.

Still, I couldn't stop thinking about how great it would be, if one, really could, exist on a meal of Redi Whip.

For heaven's sake! They can send a man to the moon! Why can't they find a way to take something as lovely as Redi Whip and give it all the nutrients and goodness of a full meal, without changing the taste, or texture? And at the same time keeping the calories to a reasonable amount.

I wonder if there is anyone even working on such a thing?
I doubt it. They're all wasting their time on things like, cures for cancer.

Hold your angry comments That was just a JOKE!


I decided that I would engage in a little wishful thinking and come up with a menu for those, like me, who find the idea of a can of Redi Whip for dinner extremely appealing. This would all be on the assumption of course that the appropriate nutrition could be pumped into any junk food type item without changing it's taste, texture, smell or appearance.

For your wishful thinking pleasure, I present a sample of what I would eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner in my own little, culinary, fantasy, world.

Breakfast; half a can of Redi Whip accompanied by a small belgian waffle loaded with fresh, sugar sweetened, strawberries. (See? that's not too unreasonable)

Mid Morning Snack: two cups of peanut M&Ms

Lunch; Dairy Queen, Mr Misty Blue Raspberry Float (have you ever had one? You simply MUST) and four, no, make that, six Oreo cookies

Mid Afternoon Snack; half a BIG box of either Jujyfruits or Starbursts and a few more squirts of Redi Whip

Dinner; Hot Fudge Brownie Sundae, and a small bucket of Movie Theater Popcorn with EXTRA butter

Dessert; Hey, even I am reasonable enough to pass on dessert.

Late Night Snack; Triple Chocolate Hot Coco topped with (DUH????) a generous mound of. . . . . .



REDI WHIP!