Relativity???

I like to think about things. Sometimes when I start thinking about one subject or another, I can't help but wonder, just how many people have thought about the same thing. I used to assume that, if I thought of something, then of course most people did as well.

Then my daughter-in-law Lisa became a part of my life.

Quite often, when I am thinking about the various thoughts that pop into my head, and when I decide to engage others in my thought process, Lisa will laugh and say something to the tune of "Susan you crack me up. You are always thinking about things that no one else ever does."

I like when Lisa says something like that to me. I consider it flattering.

After all, doesn't everyone like to feel that in some areas of life, at least, they are unique? I also have been alerted to the fact by other (less loving?) people that I am not unique, I'm just a weirdo with too much time on my hands.

I prefer Lisa's opinion of course. One reason why I love her so much.

Well, I decided to allow myself some time today, to think about something I have considered before, but never gave myself the luxury of thoroughly thinking it through.

Anyway, here is my thought: We have lots of in-laws in this society of ours. If you are married you, most likely, have a Father-in-law as well as a Mother-in-law. There is a good chance that you may have two sets even.

You know, in cases of Divorce.

Of course, you don't need to be married to have in-laws. You can be a child, heck, in extreme cases, you can be just a fetus, and still have in-laws.

Those would most likely be a brother -in- law or a sister-in-law. You don't have to do anything at all to acquire those types of in-laws. Well I guess you would need to have a brother or a sister. And they would have to get married. Thus providing you, through no fault of your own, with a brother or sister-in law.

And this is where my thinking comes in.

You pretty much can have only one kind of parents-in-law. Whether they are step-parents or real parents, (you know, the ones who are responsible for the existence of the person you are married to). So basically, to be married is to have parents-in-law.

The thing is those are the only kind of parents in law you can ever have.

If your sister has a mother and father-in-law, that doesn't make them your in-laws. Just your sister's.

On the other hand, your sister's husband, is your brother-in-law. And likewise any other siblings that you and your sister may have, also have her husband as their brother-in-law.

Now here is where it starts to get weird.

Your sister's husband, and your husband, become brothers-in-law.

Do you see the difference there?

In other words you can have BIL's and SIL 's (I've decided to abbreviate) who will always be your in-law as long as you are married to their brother or sister.

On the other hand, the BIL or SIL who you are related to, only because you happen to be married to siblings, is a different type of in-law, than the one's you inherit by marrying your spouse.

Have I lost you? No? Good.

But just in case, to make it all more understandable, I am going to offer up examples. I will use Donald and Lisa, as my example.

Okay, here goes.

Donald is my son. He is the oldest of my five children. He married Lisa over eight years ago.

Lisa has five siblings, Donald has four.

When they married, Donald gained Lisa's five siblings as BIL and SIL's.

One of Lisa's siblings is married. Her sister Kristin's husband's name is Matt. So, Donald now has six sister and brother in laws.

If, if, Kristan and Matt got a divorce, then Donald would no longer be Matt's BIL. But he would still have as BIL's and SIL's Lisa's original five siblings. As long as Donald and Lisa are married Donald will always have Lisa's siblings as in-laws.

Just as Lisa will always have Donald's four siblings.

Of course Donald's sister, my oldest daughter Heidi, is married to Jeff. So Lisa has five siblings-in-law. Donald's four brother and sisters, plus Jeff who is married to Donald's sister.

My point in all this is there are different degrees of being a BIL or a SIL.

Lisa and Jeff are SIL and BIL to each other, simply because they happened to marry siblings. It seems to me that those kind of in-laws, are more of an (stick with me here) In-Law-Once or Twice Removed.

I think there should be some kind of definition here.

What brought this all on was the other day, I was reading my friend Mandi's blog. She had had an unpleasant experience with her SIL. Now I know Mandi's SIL Jennifer. She is another blogging friend. And I knew immediately that the SIL Mandi was referring to was not Jennifer.

Because (A. Mandi and Jennifer are very close and they really love each other.
and (B. Mandi is in the process of divorcing her husband, who apparently has either a sister or a SIL.

And that would be the SIL that Mandi was referring to.

Of course since I don't know anything about Mandi's (almost) ex-husband's family, that SIL could either be his sister or his brother's wife.

Okay, by my definition, here are the different kinds of sibling in laws.

The first, and I guess this could be the true SIL, is the sister of my spouse.

Next, would be the wife of my brother. Almost a SIL once removed.

After that would be the SIL who is married to my husband's brother (incidentally, I don't have one of those) I guess she would have to be a SIL twice removed.

I personally have only three SIL's.

They are the two women married to my two brothers, and my husband's sister. And I love them just as much as I love my own sisters. I only have come up with the terms once and twice removed to define the sort of SILs they are. So you see, once removed twice removed, it has nothing to do with how much you love them.

Well.

We have now come to the point when, certain people whom I'm aware of, would say, that I definitely have, not only too much time on my hands, but a terrible habit of trying to waste my friends, likely limited time.

Sorry, my friends, I guess I have explained and hopefully not confused any of you, to the point of my being deleted as a friend off your blogs.

In case you are anything like me though, I hope that you found this post of passing interest. If not, well don't even let me get started on COUSINS.