First you have to admit that you do indeed have a problem

How on earth does someone spend 2 and a 1/2 hours at Walmart?

I needed eggs.

Shawn had an actual list of the two things he needed.

I had just happened to let it slip in Shawn's presence of my current eggless situation.
He picks up on those things really quick.

I had a few other things to do first.
So I did them.

And after getting a few other things done, and after Shawn getting his shoes and socks on, and then hovering over me for at least a good hour.Every ten minutes or so saying "I think my ears perked up when I heard you say we need eggs. Walmart has eggs, don't they?"

side note; Shawn has never met a saying that he didn't fall instantly in love with, and manage to work into conversation whenever possible. Thus we have his ears perking up over any number of things.

It is true that Walmart has eggs. I also needed a new Maybelline eyelash curler and I was getting low on Fabric Softener.

Shawn pointed that one out to me too. He is quite taken with all things laundry, but he seems to have a special devotion to Fabric Softener.

So by the time 12:30 rolled around, just guess who was headed up the road to Walmart.

If you guessed me and Shawn, you would be correct.

"This will be a short trip" I told myself. "I have several other things to do today and I really don't need that many things so I should be able to be in and out of Walmart in under 50 minutes."

Why do I set myself up for failure this way?

The first thing I do is to follow Shawn to facial cleansers to take care of the two items on his list.

I am absolutely sure that the Noxzema cleanser he has on his list is the exact stuff that Don got for him not more than two weeks ago.
The fact that he can go through something that is clearly meant to last a month or more is a sore spot with me.

I know it's the same stuff because he copied the name of it off the tube and onto his list.

Shawn will never use a tablespoon of something when a fourth of a cup will do. Now I admit I haven't ever actually seen him use his Noxzema, so technically I don't have proof, but I do know that he likes things in large doses.
This is why he is always out of everything. Because he uses so darn much every time.

The other thing he desperately needed was some more acne gel.

In keeping with his general philosophy of always wanting the most expensive brand of everything, of course his acne gel was around 5 bucks for a little more than one ounce.

And just like with his face wash, I had just bought him a tube of his acne stuff at the most, three weeks ago.

Well we managed a compromise.

We got him the Equate brand face wash, instead of the Noxzema one. And for his willingness to go slumming with a store brand, I did get him his pricey acne gel.

With one important caveat.

It stays hidden in MY room and I will put a small amount of it on his finger each day after he has washed his face. This is so he won't end up with one big shiny glop covering his entire forehead.

Well we were done getting the Shawn stuff.

I sent him off to the movie section so he could relax by reading (for the umpteenth time) all of the info on each DVD.

It was around this time I ran into one of my favorite Church friends.

Even though we don't know each other real well, I still really like her. She's just one of those people you can't help but love. Also one of those people that you could talk with forever.

I think we must have talked for more than half an hour.

We said our goodbyes. I decided it was time to get down to business and finish what I was there for.

Of course it didn't take me long to get side-tracked.

I can't get to the food section without going past Women's clothing. I figured I was pretty immune, I've seen everything they have for us larger ladies, and haven't been terribly impressed.

So I really have no explanation for why all of a sudden these same tops, that I had seen at least seven or eight times before, suddenly caught my eye.

I realized that these tops, that I had been seeing as a part of the latest Mu Mu trend, were actually more of a peasant style. I can do peasant style. I was a child of the Seventies after all.

So of course I had to take a few minutes to try on.


I got a dark blue and a green one.

On to the grocery section. I should mention that since I was almost done I went and gathered up Shawn from movies and he was now with me.

We got yogurt. We got cheese sticks (I had a coupon). We got little applesauce cups. And I didn't even forget the eggs. I also got a five pound bag of flour.

Stocking up you know.

I was in the home stretch. I noticed the time and couldn't believe that we had been in Walmart for a little more than an hour and a half. "Good Grief" I told myself. "So much for getting anything else accomplished today."

It was right around this time when Shawn let lose with another favorite saying. "Ya know, I think I'm a little bit hungry."

That might sound like a rather innocent thing for Shawn to say, and I guess it is, but here, let me decode it for you.

"I'm hungry mom. And don't bother asking me what I would like you to make me when we get home because I don't want anything that comes from our kitchen. Oh no, I want to get something to eat, at some fast food place."

You see? And you thought it was just an innocent little remark.

Fortunately, Blimpies just happens to rent space in Walmart. And it's possible to get a somewhat healthy meal there.

Blimpies it is.

There was a small problem.

Of course there had to be a small problem.

I'm pretty sure that Blimpies is getting ready to cut and run.

I was there two weeks ago and the same stuff they were out of then they were still out of today. No honey oat bread. No meatballs. The smallest collection of chips I have ever seen. I asked the girl helping us if they were getting ready to close down the store. She said that as far as she knew, she didn't know. But that there were only three people left that worked there and they hadn't had a shipment of supplies in a couple of weeks.

I told her I was sure it must be very frustrating for her to have to keep telling people that they were out of just about everything.


I think that cheered her up a bit for me to show a little understanding, instead of getting mad at all the shortages.

We were able to place an order utilizing the few supplies they did have. Although Shawn's Ham and Swiss used up the rest of the ham.

Poor Blimpie's Girl.

We sat down. We ate.
Mid sandwich, Shawn said that he didn't want to eat anymore. "This is odd" I thought, remembering that he really had been hungry. Then it occurred to me. Earlier today he had mentioned to me that he was having, shall I say, Gastrointestinal Problems.

I asked if he wanted us to wrap everything up and hurry home.

He said No, he was going to go to the bathroom there. And he took off like a shot. I did however get a chance to remind him that he BETTER wash his hands.

When Shawn is in the bathroom, time seems to no longer exist.

And I don't mean that in a good way.

I waited.
I ate some sandwich.
I drank some diet Pepsi.
I waited.
And waited.
I had a few Frito's.

Finally, I spotted Shawn running through the store back to Blimpie's.

He took his seat, told me that he felt MUCH better and finished eating his sandwich.
And his chips.
I happened to look at my cell phone. Up until that point I had pretty much managed to delude myself as to just how long we had been in the store.

It was 2:42.

We had entered the store at 12:38. Give or take a few.

By the time we threw away our Blimpie's trash, and walked the shopping cart out to where we were parked.
By the time everything I had purchased was loaded in the van.
By the time Shawn took the cart to the shopping cart corral,
and got into the passenger seat.
By this time I looked at my cell phone again.

I admit it. I am hopeless. Shawn and I couldn't hurry to save our lives.

It was 3:10.

I'm really way too embarrassed to post this but I figure that part of changing is admitting you have a problem in the first place.

So I will now admit to the world.

At least my little slice of it.


I SPENT MORE THAN TWO AND A HALF HOURS AT WALMART!

Please don't judge me.

Please.

Oh, by the by, several of you have mentioned how much you have enjoyed young Shawn's various lists.
So I figured,
Why not?

And here it is.

On a totally unrelated note.
If you haven't already, be sure to scroll down and enter my little give away.

One more thing. Sorry about all the huge margins. This is what happens to ny blog every single time I put up a picture.