Kelly's Big Funny

I don't know if I've mentioned that my middle son Kelly is a student at the local Community College, (where he is doing phenomenally well, btw) as well as a dish-washer at Red Lion.

I wouldn't say that he loves his job, but he does appreciate the fact that he doesn't have to deal with the public, other than the dirty dishes they leave behind.

For the most part he really likes the people he works with and has even found myriad ways of adding as much fun to the job of Dishwasher, as he possibly can.

They have had Dish-Stacking Competitions, believe me, NOT for the feint of heart, as well as the more mundane, but still time-passingly-funny, ridiculing of the Banquet Employees. (Apparently even lower on the Eatery Food Chain than Dishwashers).

Well, last night Kelly came home from work and asked me to come out to the kitchen so that he could show me something.

A new benchmark in FUNNY has been set for the denizens of the bowels-of-the-kitchens-at-Red-Lion. (in Kennewick)

I won't take away any of Kelly's glory by explaining it to you just go here and have yourself a good laugh on me.

Shawn's Yogurt Strategy

Okay, let me start this off with a quick bit of Long-Story-Short.

Shawn loves to go out.

As in, leave the premises (a.e. home) to go to the store (preferably Walmart, but Target and Fred Meyer are also highly prized)

I understand this little quirk of his pretty well, I get a little stir crazy if confined within the four walls myself, for too long. The problem (for Shawn, not for me) though is that I have also learned to appreciate the quiet, peace and relaxation, and coziness of a day spent entirely at home.

I've been trying to do this more and more lately.

Much to Mr. Shawn's distress, I should add.

Shawn has never been an apt student to the art of subtlety. Not that he doesn't try of course.
He also seems to have a pretty uncanny sense of those days when mom has decided to hunker down and not leave the house for any reason less than, oh, say, maybe, fire?

I know that he knows because, inevitably, he will start hovering around wherever I have stationed myself and he will start dropping his little hints.

Usually, he will start off by pointing out to me which day of the week it is.

Shawn: "Uh, mom, today is Tuesday."

Me: "Yes Shawn, you're right. Today sure is Tuesday."

In all fairness, I should explain that stating which day of the week it is, is a daily occurrence, and, in itself, not necessarily a key factor in one of his "I've got to get out of this house NOW" schemes. But it is also true that it is generally a pretty good starting point for him.

Now, if keeping me apprised of the day of the week is done in all innocence, it will usually be kept at that.

Shawn can go on his merry way, knowing that his job as the family up-to-dater is secure for yet another day.

But,

If this is simply the first salvo in his "must go to Walmart" plan, it will quickly be followed by the announcement of some household item that we are woefully falling short of.

Shawn: " Um, mom. Did you know that we are almost out of Zip Lock Quart Sized Storage bags?"

Me: "No we aren't, I bought a new box of them last week. I just put them away so that you wouldn't open them up before the box we are using is used up."

Poor Shawn.

I know how much these little "blocks" of mine frustrate him. I don't worry though.
He'll be back for round two in no time and usually with a far better researched "almost-out-of need" or two in his little arsenal.

Sometimes, he will hit gold, and discover something that we are not only "low" on, but completely OUT of.

I can only imagine his genuine glee upon discovering that there is not another piece of Smoked Ham to be found anywhere in the entire fridge.

Oh yes.

It's not everyday that he can come to me, to plead his case, with such a fully loaded quiver, as being completely out of a bare necessity like Ham.

Or,

milk,

eggs,

birthday candles,

bagels,

cream cheese,

or,

to be more specific,
such as what happened yesterday,

YOGURT!

Yes, even I have to admit, that running out of yogurt could have a devastating effect on the Sorenson household. Don eats yogurt, Kelly eats yogurt, I don't usually, but from time to time I will even imbibe.

And then there is Shawn.

Shawn loves yogurt. He has been known to eat up to three, little six ounce cups, of yogurtey goodness in a day. (Don't even get me started on how it used to be eight ounces) Yogurt is one of those handy little foods that can be eaten no matter what time of the day it is. It has become one of Shawn's favorite, go-to-foods for those annoying little between-meal-times when a little something is needed to "tide one over".

Side note; Shawn so likes the idea of "Tiding me Over" that sometimes I have to point out to him that, that Subway Meatball Sub, I just bought him at 6PM is not meant to "Tide him over", until dinner, but is indeed

DINNER.


Back to yesterday.

So, I am forced to admit that, yes, we do seem to be utterly and completely out of that, life sustaining substance, known as Yogurt. As a matter of fact it has been almost three days with no discernible traces of yogurt anywhere in the house.

Crap.

I did not want to go anywhere at all yesterday. I knew we were almost out of milk, I knew we were completely out of eggs, in fact I guess this is even kind of proof of the powerful force a yogurt shortage carries around here, because now that I think of it Shawn never once mentioned the lack of eggs or milk. Not once. It was strictly the lack of yogurt that he carried his entire case on.

The thought does occur of course that he may have strategically been saving those shortages to pry me out of the house today.

If so, then VICTORY is mine because I got plenty of milk as well as TWO cartons of eggs.

HA!

Take that Shawn!

Two can play at THAT game!!!

Well this is where the whole thing gets interesting.

If we are buying yogurt I usually head to Fred Meyer. We all like their store brand stuff and it's for a good price. (figuratively speaking of course) As we head into the store I ask Shawn where he plans to be. Home Entertainment is usually his favorite hot spot, but (as I have pointed out in previous Shawn posts) Health and Beauty (Health and Toiletries is more accurate a term, but, for some reason, Health and Beauty is the name that has stuck) is always a favorite place to spend an hour or two.

Amazingly enough he doesn't seem terribly interested in either of his favorite destinations. I suggest that he come with me and he agrees that this sounds like a good way to spend his time.

In retrospect, I wonder if it was with the intention to keep me away from those pesky eggs. No. I refuse to believe that. Shawn can't possibly be that devious.

Or could he?

I suggest that we make a beeline to the refrigerated dairy section so we can get the much needed yogurt. Shawn is in full agreement.

Okay, Dairy aisle.

Here we are at Yogurt.

I hold the cart, Shawn procures.

"Alright Shawn, first of all let's get 4 Pina Coladas". If I'm eating yogurt at all that is my flavor choice, Don likes P.C. too.
Showing a marked lack of enthusiasm Shawn reaches for and brings down 4 Pina Coladas.
Hmm, funny. He has liked that flavor well enough before.
Well, now to get to the real Meat and Potato flavors.

Me: "Okay Shawn, how about 4 Raspberries?"

Shawn: "I don't really like Raspberry."

What?

WHAT?

What on Earth does he mean by that? Raspberry has always been a clear favorite.

It continues,

Me: "Okay, how about some Stawberry Banana?" (my personal disfavorite)

Shawn: "No. No. I don't really like Strawberry Banana."

Weird. But then we ARE talking Strawberry Banana after all.

Me: "Well lets get 5 Peach, okay? I know that you and Kelly like Peach."


Shawn: " Yeah fine, for Kelly, I don't really like Peach."

It's now official, this yogurt picking is getting just plain weird.

We go to Strawberry Vanilla. Courtney's favorite, but she doesn't live here anymore so 2 or 3 should be enough. Shawn again points out that he's not a fan.

Blueberry? No. I don't like blueberry. (Since when. Quickly crosses my mind)

Just plain Strawberry?

Ditto.

Now we only have Vanilla left and since no one ever wants Vanilla we are basically done with all of the flavors. (For some reason Lemon and Lime, two flavors that I really like, are only in the sugar free form. Yech.)

I look at Shawn.

Shawn looks at me.

I think he knows that he has some explaining to do.

Me: "Shawn, what's going on here? How come all of a sudden you don't like any of these flavors?"

Shawn: "I don't know. I just don't like them."

Me: "But Shawn, you have been after me for the last two days to go get more yogurt. You've been bugging me practically hourly with the fact that we are OUT of yogurt. If you don't like yogurt any more then why have you been so upset that we are out of it?"

Shawn: (This said with a completely straight face) "I've been telling you that we are out of yogurt for everyone else. "

Uh Huh. . . . .

What else can I do but admit defeat.

Shawn's new altruism, for the welfare, of the greater good of his yogurt starved family members is, truly touching.

Am I being just a bit cynical?

Of course I am.

But,
to be perfectly honest,
I have to admit that I am impressed with Shawn's ability to take this little game of How-Can-I-Get-Mom-Out-of-The-House-Today strategy to such a high level. I'm going to have to sharpen my skills if I hope to be a match for this young man who has discovered that the needs of The Family, can be just as vital and earth-shattering as the needs of The One (The Shawn).

What's next on his little agenda?

We need to get more Reeses Peanut Butter Cereal for the next time Abbey and Lindsay are here?
We should maybe have an extra pair of socks for those times when Lorelai can't find the ones she took off the second she walked through the front door?

Where will it all end?

I am clearly going to have to start working on my A game if I ever again want to spend a nice quiet day at home.

As I get ready to finish off this post with a nice pithy little flourish, who should come up and stand behind me but. . . .

Yup.

You guessed it.

My

Mr.

Shawn.

Shawn: "I think today is Wednesday."

Me: "It sure is. Today is definitely Wednesday."

Shawn: "We still haven't gotten those new toothbrush heads for the Sonic Toothbrush yet, have we mom?"


IT




BEGINS!

Penny's from Heaven

Courtney and Nathan have just been blessed with a new little arrival.

They decided to adopt.

Just last Thursday,

after some serious contemplation,

and discussion,

Courtney went to meet her new little bundle of joy at the Pizza Barn in Finley,

of all places.

Nathan would have loved to have be there as well but he couldn't get away from work.

Her name is Penny. She is a precious little Red-Head, with the sweetest big brown eyes you've ever seen.

Needless to say, here at Sorenson central we are all smitten with this new little addition to the family.

Courtney was so thrilled and proud of her new little one that she brought her right over to my house so that Penny and Grandma could meet for the first time.

And now, courtesy of Lisa, I have pictures of Courtney and her darling little Penny to share with all of my friends.

I am thrilled to present to you,

Penny

Tee Hee

Did I fool anyone?

Probably not.

But anyway, isn't she just the cutest, sweetest, little thing?!?

We are all having so much fun getting to know her. She is such a little sweetheart.
I wish I had a picture of her tiny little pointed tail. It is so darned cute and it just wags and wags.

Of course as is quite often the case with new little "girls", Daddy Nathan, is making it hard for Courtney to practice much discipline. She was determined that Penny would learn to sleep in her little bed on the floor but after a few whimpers Nathan gives in and insists that it's not going to hurt anything to let Penny sleep in their bed with them.

Courtney doesn't really mind though. She says that Penny snuggles up around her neck and they sleep together quite comfortably.

Courtney has also gotten a hold of some recipes and plans to make Dog Food.

I love seeing what a sweet little mama Courtney is with her new puppy. Abbey, Lindsay, Alexandra and Lorelai have all met Penny now and I think it is safe to say that they all love this new little "cousin" and hope to be able to spend as much time as possible with her.

I guess I really only have one quandary with all of this. . . .

Do I include one sweet little Daschund puppy in my grandchildren count?

A small annoyance

Do you want to know one of the things that really makes me mad?

I hate whenever I voice a concern/complaint about something to a cashier/waiter/head of department-type person and they call over a supervisor for help.

Don't misunderstand my gripe here.

Usually the calling of someone of higher authority is my idea. I don't like wasting words or time on someone who doesn't have the means of satisfying my dilemma.

So quite often, the superviser/manager/owner/whatever, is called by my request.

Here is what irks me.

The second the higher up, shows up, (in fact often before said superior has even had a chance to come to a complete stop), the employee will start to rapidly expound on what MY problem is.

This makes me SO mad.

I am the one with the question and or problem. And as far as I'm concerned it is MY right to speak for myself to the superviser.

I have never liked to let anyone else speak for me.

Plus I'm not stupid.

It's quite obvious that the employee who I have a problem with is trying their hardest to turn the situation around to where I am the bad guy.

I decided a few years ago that I will no longer allow this to happen.

Now, when I run into a situation where I feel the need to go over someone's head I will not let anyone but myself explain my problem.

Let me tell you, it feels so much better to be able to tell the PIC (person in charge) what is irking you, all by yourself, instead of letting some, verbally challenged, self serving, little minion, try to explain your problem to their supervisor while at the same time making sure to cover themselves from any possible blame or wrong-doing.

So, just for the record, this is one more of my little rules to live by.

I do realize that there are times when letting someone else speak on your behalf is not only a good thing but most likely the smartest thing to do.

That's why we have Lawyers after all.

But for all of those other times.

When an employee has been rude, dismissive, ill informed or just plain stupid.
When I need something explained or (more likely) want to explain something myself.

When,

I want to point out a discrepancy,

all by myself,

in my own words,

without interference by someone who just wants to cover their own butt,
then please, just stand aside, shut your mouth,

AND

LET

ME

SPEAK

FOR

MY OWN FLIPPIN'

SELF!!!!!!!!!

To Etsy or Not To Etsy

I don't know how many of you know about ETSY. It's a site where people sell their handmade items. I had an ETSY shop for a while but I got frustrated that things didn't sell well.

I tried to access my shop a few months ago and the site wouldn't let me.

I figured that they must have 86ed me for inactivity.

I tried it again a few days ago and this time I was able to get back in.
I still have a few dresses that never did sell. I just today re-listed them and I am interested to see if I get any response for either of them.

If they sell, in fact even if they just plain receive any interest at all, I might make up a few new dresses to put up for sale.

I still haven't decided if the whole thing is worth the time and frustration.

I like the whole idea of getting paid for doing something I love to do,

but,

on the other hand,

I'm not crazy about taking on any extra responsibility. Not to mention that it's not really all that profitable. Although there is a certain satisfaction as well as validation in somebody paying you for something you made.

I don't know.

I'm kinda on the fence here.

If you are interested, here is a link to my shop. You can click on the 6 sales to see the dresses that I have already sold.

I would appreciate any feedback you are willing to give.

So, what do you think?



These are the two dresses I put back up for sale.

I guess I could also put the fact that I have access to such lovely little models among the "reasons for"



Thank you Lorelai!