The Nuts and Bolts of Shawn

Wow, I can't believe I am already to child number four. That would be my sweet little Shawn. There is so much to say about Shawn that this will either be really long or maybe a two parter. Like I mentioned in my last post about Kelly, at the time he was born we had decided that we were done. I thought that three was a good number of kids and that he would be our last. Well this was the way I felt for almost four years.


Then I just started to feel incomplete.


I actually didn't even tell Don that I wanted another baby. I just stopped taking my BC pills. I got pregnant right away (as usual) and I felt really good about the whole thing. Unfortunately my body wasn't so thrilled. About five months in, my blood pressure started getting high and I had protein in my urine samples. This means Pre-eclampsia. A nasty little condition that pregnant women get that can cause death to both mother and child. By the next month I also had gestational diabetes.


Yes folks, things were looking bad.


I suddenly found myself in the category of "High Risk Pregnancy". Not fun, not fun. I was expected to stay off my feet as much as possible. Now those young mothers out there with three young children probably know how impossible that is. I did the best I could and things kind of evened out. At least for the next two months or so. By the time I was seven and a half to eight months I was needing to seriously slow things down. My dear beloved Aunt Doris, pretty much took on the responsibility of keeping an eye on me, and the Relief Society started bringing in dinners.


This helped for a few weeks.


My big problem was that Kelly was four and still my baby and he was use to me being his buddy and constant companion and doing everything for him. Now it wasn't his fault I had just really babied him thinking that he would be my last.


One day Doris came over to check on me and I was in pretty bad shape. She called Dr. Fox and told him that she felt he needed to see me right away. He agreed. She took me in to his office and after checking my vitals he sent me straight to KGH. I didn't know it at the time but I would be there until the baby was born.


It was ten days until Shawn was born.


We were so relieved to have him born and for the pre-eclampsia to go away. He was my smallest baby and I fell in love with him instantly. Almost from the start things seemed a little different with him. He was really quiet. He didn't cry very often. But he was so sweet and this time I was sure that he would be my last so I enjoyed every minute with him.


By the time Shawn was about a year old we could tell that he wasn't developing as quickly as he should have been. He eventually hit most of the expected baby milestones, just a little bit slower. I don't remember exactly when we started to expect that there might be something wrong with him. Probably by the time he was a year and a half. Fortunately Kelly had gone to the Benton Franklin Developmental Center for his speech. I think that must have been a blessing in disguise because we were very familiar with them and the help they provided so I contacted them and in no time Shawn was going there every day.Now I am a really impatient person and I wanted a diagnoses almost immediately.


They won't do that.


I was just starting to hear about something called autism. But I also thought that Shawn might be mentally retarded. I wasn't bothered by this. But people that work with developmentally challenged children quite often feel like they are walking on eggshells with the parents of the kids they work with. Many of these parents don't want to admit that there is anything wrong with their child no matter how glaring it is. I never felt that way at all. There was nothing that would make me not adore my little boy. And I have always felt that facts are facts. If Shawn was retarded he was retarded it didn't change anything for Don and I. I could understand the skittishness these teachers felt though. I had by this point been at a few parent meetings and seen several parents throwing fits at even the suggestion that their little Johnny wasn't perfect and even gifted in every way.


What a job for these wonderful blessed educators.


Right from the start Shawn had a very definite charisma. No matter what program he has ever been in he always ends up being every one's favorite. He is so happy and smiley and so sweet and cute that people just love him. The teachers also always knew that I really appreciated every thing they were doing for him. A lot of the parents would do nothing but complain and find fault. I have never understood this feeling of entitlement they had. I have always just been so grateful for all the programs and resources that have been available. It's been really wonderful to see Lisa getting the same help and having the same good attitude about it all. I have even been able to steer her to some helps that I never knew about until much later.


Well Shawn was at the Developmental Center until he was old enough for Kindergarten. Kennewick has been such a forward thinking school district. In fact the whole Tri-cities has been. I was really nervous about Shawn and public school. When I was a kid there was the RETARD school.


It actually makes me physically sick to think that it was thought of that way at one time.


I remembered how those children were treated by the normal kids and I didn't think I could bear to see my precious boy treated like that. I was introduced to the new way of thinking, where kids were placed in regular classes with a one on one Aid to help them. This way children are taught from Kindergarten that these specially challenged kids are more like them than not. They grow up being friends with these kids and understanding them instead of fearing them.And face it, that is what it mostly is, fear of someone different.


Shawn went to Edison Elementary for Kindergarten. He wasn't as included as I had hoped he would be but the kids were never mean to him. Then his program changed a little and for first grade I had the choice to send him to Amistad or Southgate.


I chose Southgate.


This began Shawn's wonderful journey through the Kennewick School system. I think it might have been that it was a higher income group of kids with better educated parents but I don't know for sure, but these kids LOVED Shawn ! He was like every ones favorite little brother. The girls especially felt that they should have exclusive rights to Shawn at recess. That caused hurt feelings with the boys so the girls ended up having to share Shawn.


To this day Shawn still is putty in a cute girls hands.


These kids ended up a lot of the time being able to teach Shawn better than his teachers or Aids. He sometimes could be a little stubborn or naughty for the teachers, but if one of the kids asked him to count out ten pencils, boy would he do it. So needless to say Shawn absolutely blossomed at Southgate.

Shawn was at Southgate for, I think, six years. Since special ed kids can go to school until they age out at twenty one they keep at each school for a few extra years.

After Southgate Shawn attended Horse Heaven Hills.I was just a little nervous about Shawn and middle school.

Silly me.

Shawn was treated so well that you would have thought he was a little celebrity. He was by now in a classroom for most of the day with the other special needs kids. He had P.E. and all of his electives with the regular kids. He may not have been in many classes with the regular kids but somehow they all knew him and loved him. He had a wonderful teacher through all his years at HHH and it was hard to say goodbye to her when it was time for High school.

Kennewick High was the first time Shawn went to the same school that his siblings had gone to. High school was just the same for Shawn. Everyone loved him and they were so good to him. The ARC of the Tri-Cities started a program Shawn's freshman year called The Buddy Club. Regular kids at the school are matched up with the special needs kids and they have several activities through the year such as, Dances, Bowling parties, Buddy Lunches and other fun events.

Shawn loved socializing so much that his big treat was to stand out in the hallway outside his room for the first few minutes of class changes and say hi to all the kids that went by his room. This was such a big deal for him that it was most often the privilege withheld if he broke rules and needed a consequence.

Boy that was a killer for him to not get his hall time.

Shawn was so friendly and so many kids liked him that whenever he would go anywhere with Jeff and Heidi or Donald and Lisa they would always come back and tell me that Shawn must know every person that lives in Kennewick because so many people would stop and say Hi to him.

Well the sad day finally arrived.

Shawn came to his last year of school. He graduated last summer 2007. He has been pretty bored since no school, but every year in the summer he has Partners and Pals. This is another wonderful ARC program for regular kids to come and mingle with special needs kids in a fun summer day camp. Shawn missed out on the first few years he was old enough for P&P, because I didn't know about it. Thank goodness for my cousins, Rachel and Nathan Henry. They were both counselors for P&P and they asked my Mom one day why Shawn didn't go to it. Well I was so excited when I heard about this program that the next year I had him signed up and he has attended ever since. Sadly last summer was his last, because again 21 is the cut off age. But this year Shawn gets to go as a volunteer, and he gets to wear THE GREEN SHIRT. The counselors all wear the RED SHIRT, but the "volunteers" wear green, and Shawn couldn't be more proud or excited.

Well this has turned into a really LOOOONG post. There is still so much more to tell about Shawn that I will do a part two on him next. Thanks for staying with me and I'll see ya next time for "LIFE WITH SHAWN".