Finding my way back

Something happened last week that I've decided to write down. It concerns my mother and Shawn.

I guess that makes it kind of profound.

You know, in the Blogging is a useful method of documenting the important moments of your life for posterity, way.

Well last week, partly to make it up to Shawn for so cold heartedly leaving him all alone for FIVE LONG DAYS,

Oh. Hold on. I realize an explanation is in order. . . .


Explanation: To Shawn's way of thinking if I am not here then he is. .

HOME ALL ALONE

It doesn't matter how many other responsible AIC's (adults in charge) happen to be on premises. If I am not here then my poor little waif of a sad, despairing, broken hearted, lonely Shawn is Home Alone.

So, to make it up to my funny little, long suffering guy, I let him come with me on Wednesday last, to do some grocery shopping and such.
I never have to ask him twice by the way, here is an example ;

Me: (at the bottom of the stairs calling up to Shawn) Oh Sha-awn?
Cue to the sudden sound of

thump
thump
thump
thump
thump
thump
thump

(that would be Shawn coming down the stairs as fast as his feet will carry him.)

Shawn: Yes Mom?!?!

Me: Hey, Buddy. Would you like to come to Walmart with me?

Silly, silly question. Shawn could be on his death bed and would still not turn down a chance to go Walmart with me.

Me: Well, get upstairs and get on your shoes (he is always barefoot in the house) and grab your coat and lets go.

thump
thump
thump
thump
thump
thump
thump

and a mere three minutes later (four minutes tops) he is right back down stairs and ready to go.

Now!

I realize that it is closing in on lunch time and that I haven't really had what could be thought of as a respectable meal yet for the day. I figure that Mr Shawn must be about ready for a little something as well.

Alright.

Lunch before shopping.

And, as luck will have it, the closest McDonald's is right next to the conveniently located Walmart just up the road.

I look in my purse to check my wallet for available funds. I like to know before hand if it will be cash or debit. I'm not sure why, but I first look in the non-wallet section of my purse.
This is the section of my purse I like to think of as No Man's Land. A collection of coupons, napkins, note pads, pens, various small trinkets that I really have no use for, a few wadded up napkins that I blew my nose with and haven't had a chance to throw away yet.

Don't JUDGE Me!

I look a little deeper because I see what looks like a white envelope. I pull it out and see Shawn's name written on it.
The realization of what I have in my hand suddenly hits me like a ton of bricks.

My mom for the last several years has gotten my children each a McDonald's gift card for Christmas. She handed them out on Christmas Eve to my kids, my grandchildren and my sister Janice's two children. I took Shawn's and put it straight away in my purse to keep it safe.
I had somehow completely forgotten about it until that moment when I fished it out of the jungle that is my purse.

Keep in mind that my mom had died, not even two weeks ago at this time.

I think I must have experienced at least ten different emotions in a span of maybe three seconds.
I was a little choked up as I turned to Shawn and said,

"Shawn. Guess what?"

I handed him the envelope and reminded him that Grandma had given it to him Christmas Eve night. Remember, I said, that I put it in my purse to keep it safe for you?

Of course he remembered.

I don't know if it occurred to him the significance that he was going to use the card that he had gotten from my mom before she died, not even a month later.

No, if he did he didn't let on.

He just grinned from ear to ear and said
"well, that was real nice of Grandma to give me this card, wasn't it"
"You bet it was" I said.
"really really nice."

I turned to him and told him that he could get whatever he wanted with that card.
I sometimes put the brakes on his ordering because he will want one of the biggest fanciest sandwiches,

BUT

No Lettuce
No Cheese
No Tomato
No Bacon
No Sauce

Basically what he ends up with is a very expensive plain burger or crispy chicken sandwich with only mustard.
When I have my way, what I will get him is maybe two McDoubles with only mustard.
I do have to give Shawn a little credit here.
Lately he has started to allow his sandwich to keep everything it comes with and after a few brave bites he pulls off the rest of the tomato.

Last Wednesday, with his "Grandma given" ten dollar McDonald's gift card in hand, I let him order whatever he wanted.

He got one of the outrageously priced crispy chicken sandwiches. In fact he (with a little urging on my part) made it a full meal.

We sat down to a lovely little lunch, courtesy of my mother. . . .

and. . . .

as Shawn chattered on about where he would be when we made it up the parking lot to Walmart,

I just sat there thinking. . .

of how funny

things can work out sometimes. . .

Yes, I sat there partly listening to my sweet boy

as I said,

another

silent,

loving

goodbye

to my mom.