Pats on my back

Well here I am in the home stretch of my quest for niceness. I have had several nice moments.

Here is a good one.

When going through the round-about closest to my neighborhood, I was pleased to see that there was no traffic in any direction.

One small hitch though.

Apparently the young woman in front of me doesn't understand the finer details of round-about usage. She STOPPED. There was clearly NO need to even yield, seeing as how there was NO ONE around period. But apparently this little Lucy Law-abider is so very conscientious about following the rules of the road that she doesn't just yield at a deserted round-about, oh no, Miss Lucy, comes to a complete STOP. And not even just a complete stop, oh no, she looks around to make sure that no one is anywhere in a three mile radius. Of course there isn't. Now I am sure you have figured out how infuriating for me this was. And just as I am raising my hand to honk like crazy, and just as I am really preparing my harshest, Look Of Contempt,

I suddenly remember my current pledge of niceness.

Humbled and Shamed, I put my hand back on the steering wheel, and I slowly remove the LOC from my face.

In other words, I do NOTHING.

Well nothing but patiently wait for her to decide that entering the round-about isn't as life threatening as it would appear, and to slowly, cautiously, creep out into the big scary round-about and go on her timid little way.

Now this may not sound as impressive as I think it should, but allow me to put it in perspective.

Donald, that would be, Donald, as in first born son. Donald, as in total Hot Head. Donald as in, must use his horn at least 20 times a week, to notify everyone else on the road of how stupid they are. Well Donald would have HONKED and he would have made it a good solid honk of at least a 30 second duration. He also would have thrown the most withering LOC at her while also screaming unfriendly obscenities. ( He may deny some of this.)

So now you can see how virtuous I was, to not do any of the unpleasant things that crossed my mind right then.

I have, of course, an even bigger example of what a changed person I have become.

Thursday is the day that I always take my mom out. I take her to do whatever shopping she feels is necessary. And then I take her out to lunch.

Lunch is the part she likes best.

The retirement home that she lives in doesn't have a very good culinary reputation. And that is just the NICE way to put it. Today I went kinda cheapy on her and we did Burger King. She didn't mind too much.

There were, of course, the usual "Fast Food Problems." Our order was taken, payed for, and then promptly forgotten. And when I say forgotten, I mean FORGOTTEN.

We had order #5.

First #6 was called then#7. By the time numbers 8 through 10 were called it became pretty clear that we were never going to see any food in this place without intervention. Dutifully, I go up front. I kindly (yes, believe it or not kindly) point out to the young man who had taken our order and also the manager ( he obviously didn't want to miss the excitement so he rushed over) to hear that we had not received order number 5. They jumped into action. They ascertained that indeed I had not received my order yet. I was so happy that they reached this conclusion on their own, and that I didn't have to lead them to my table and show them LOOK! NO FOOD. Manager guy told me that they would quickly get our order made and even bring it out to us.

I go back to my table. I tell my mom that we should get our food now. We wait......we wait some more.......after even more waiting I go up front to see if our order has even been started yet.

It hadn't.

Now the manager is feeling the heat. Somehow I had gotten the wrong impression that they would drop filling the orders they were working on and get right to my order. No one had told me that they planned to work my order in when they had a free moment. Again manager guy tells me that they would bring it out to us when it was ready.

Well, lets cut to the chase.

Finally a full 18.5 minutes after I had first place our order the manager brings our food out to us. Believe it or not, I was nice to him.

Nice, but not stupid.

He told me how very sorry he was. I told him that an apology was nice but for as long as it took I think I should get my money back. He went up to the register got my money and brought it to me. You would have been proud of how graciously I accepted this much deserved compensation.

See? Being NICE and still getting results, I'm thinking I may be onto something.

Now comes for my most current act of niceness.

As we left the BK parking lot I saw a beggar. You know, the ones with the signs claiming all kinds of unfortunate circumstances. And of course the finishing touch. The ubiquitous "God Bless." I had seen this woman when mom and I came out of BK and as I helped her into the van and put her walker away. I realized that we would be driving right past the Sign Holding Woman.

These beggars really tick me off. I read an article once, saying that these people make on average 300 dollars a day. So forgive me but I would not even give these people a moldy hamburger to feed their dog. The DOG by the way is one of their favorite props.

You might say that I am a bit of a connoisseur of beggars. I like to read their signs and get a good chuckle. Some of them get pretty creative. This woman was obviously a seasoned veteran. She was just scruffy enough to not be too repulsive. She was such a step above your average, poorly trained beggar that she didn't even have a dog with her, or a nap-sack. Oh no, none of those obvious trappings.

She had a red gas can.

I had to admit, I was IMPRESSED. And the fact that she would not have any use for that gas can, I'm sure wouldn't register for the people that have maybe a split second to decide whether to stop and contribute or not.

Her sign had the fairly generic message. "Stranded. Need help. GOD BLESS" but the " red gas can."

That was a stroke of genius!

Of course if you took a few seconds to think about it you would realize how stupid it was. Does she actually think that the people leaving Burger King are going to have some fresh gas in a container just for the next homeless person they run into. But the point is that most people, at least the ones who are suckered by these people, will not even think about how ridiculous that gas can is. I realized that I was in the presence of a true Master.

Well this is when my new niceness comes in.

You have no idea how much I wanted to quickly roll down my window while coming to a stop and motion her over. And when she was close enough I'd say "Wow you are really good! The red gas can prop, GENIUS!! Lady I salute you!!! You really know your stuff!"

Oh if you could only realize just how much I wanted to do that. But just as I was slowing down, I remembered my vow of niceness. I also realized that I did have my mom with me. I honestly don't know how she would have reacted but seeing as how I would have been speaking around her because she was in the passenger side and that was where pseudo homeless lady was standing, I'm pretty sure that mom would have been uncomfortable to be even slightly involved in Susan's little confrontation. So I didn't do it. I did it, well ,I guess I didn't do it, for MOM. I did slash didn't do it for the fake homeless lady.

And now, I have the reward of the good feeling that can only come from doing a NICE thing for one's fellow man. ( Well in this case one's fellow fake homeless person)

I am just so pleased with myself. I think that niceness is becoming such a habit for me that I may never go back to my old ways. I will try to keep most of my niceness to my self however, because the last thing I would want, would be to give Jan cavities. I will probably do at least one more post on Niceness. So if they are becoming too nice for you I will understand if you prefer to skip it.

Now I can't get any nicer than that.