A little rant

I have been really tempted to write about this before but was a little worried about offending people. But what I saw today has changed my mind and I'm going to have myself a little rant here.

I absolutely HATE those stupid roller shoes that parents buy for their children these days.

I have several good reasons to back up this discrimination.

#1. You take a perfectly nice, generally well behaved, kid.
You clap him (or her) into a pair of those abominations and what do you get?

I'll tell you what you get.

An instant little Hellion.

Who knew that a pair of shoes could instantly transform a nice enough kid into a little monster.

One who thinks that just because he now has the ability, to cut right in front of people, and even, sometimes, smash right into them, that he has every right to do just that.
This is most likely to happen if you have two of these little brats trying to chase each other.

I have yet to see a kid wearing a pair of these things, NOT trying to show off in them.

#2 Have you ever really considered the construction of those things?
Somewhere in the heel is a hard piece of, I assume, some kind of hard rubber. HARD. I don't know if bearings are involved but I'm pretty sure without them they wouldn't work.

Bearings.

Not my choice for a good supportive sole for a child's shoe.

The makers of these shoes realize that the kid wearing them will once in a while need to walk or (heaven forbid) even run in them. I would like to know how you can do either with a hard little wheel directly under your heel.
I think that is one reason why I've never seen a kid wearing them walk more than a few steps at a time in them.

Would you like walking or (again, heaven forbid) running, if every step you took your heel would come down on what I'm pretty sure must feel like a hard little rock.

And please, please, don't tell me that your children claim how comfortable they are.

Children LIE.

The year I was six I had a pair of shoes that were at least a size and a half too small for me. I refused to give them up. And every day when I got home from school, on they would go. My mean mom wouldn't ever let me wear them to school so, after school time was my only time I could wear them.

And you know what?

Those pretty, white, little, size and a half too small dress shoes, hurt like crazy.

Of course I would have run down my street naked, in front of every boy from miles around, before I would ever have admitted that to my mom.

So please don't believe your children when they claim how these are the most comfortable pair of shoes they have ever worn.

Look at it logically, how on earth could they be comfortable. They aren't made for comfort. They are made to appeal to a child! Children don't know what's good for themselves 90 percent of the time.

Why should it be any different when it comes to foot wear?

Hold on I still have more reasons.

#3 How much exercise does the normal child really get these days?

If a child is gliding, they aren't really walking are they? And of course they won't be running any time soon either. They have the mistaken belief that when wearing a pair of those stupid shoes that they need to glide as much as possible.

I see this as a really devious way to make sure that even when a kid isn't behind a computer or video game, he won't be using his legs in any discernible healthy way.

I'm assuming that most of you have seen the movie Wall E. Remember those electric carts that all the people rode around on.

They were probably plugged into them at birth.

The whole point of that was to show how they didn't use their bodies for much of anything.

I believe that a kid wearing these wheel shoes is taking a, glide, in that same direction.

Think about it.

Here the parents tell little Humphry to turn off the TV. They are going out for a nice healthy walk.

Sounds good doesn't it?

Especially since it's more than likely that for the last four hours the little dear has been on his butt in front of a video game.

After much complaining and no doubt a few theatrics, the kid is dragged outside for his walk. And how does he spend that healthy time with good old mom and dad?

Does he move those little legs?

Does he take step after step after step?

Does he even decide to run ahead of the parents in an amazing burst of raw energy?

Of course not.

That would be too much work. That would require some effort on his part. So little Humphry spends this time outside with mom and dad, by gliding along on his bright, red and white, Wheelies.

Cutting the benefits of "the walk" down to almost non existent.

I have serious reason to believe the North Koreans might be behind the manufacture of these shoes. What a nasty, evil little plot.

Now I just remembered I told you I saw something today that helped me decide to take a chance on some of my friends disowning me.

Here is what happened. I was in Walmart today. Minding my own business I must add, when a group of preteen girls, there were I think four of them, came tearing down the aisle.

I won't even comment on how much that bugged me.
Whoops. I guess I just did.

Well I couldn't help but notice how there was this one girl, slightly smaller than the rest of them, trying her hardest to keep up . It was quickly obvious that a big part of the reason why she was so behind was because she had on wheeled shoes!

She tried running after them.

No good.

She looked like she was running on hot coals it was so difficult for her.

So every few steps she would start gliding. That was no good because she realized that running was the quicker option. Just when I wouldn't have been surprised if she had sat down and taken off those horrible shoes, she decided to try gliding one more time.

And just guess what happened?

She ran right into this cute little toddler boy who was so proud to be walking down the aisle with his mommy. (Walking, not gliding, by the way.)

The girl didn't even apologize. She just got up and tried running after her friends again.

So I decided that I had, HAD IT.

I came home, I came upstairs, I started writing.

I hope if I have offended anyone that you will at least promise to think about some of the points I have made here.

Do we really want to raise up a generation of people who have become so accustomed to gliding that walking becomes a lost art?